Recently, a reader asked an excellent question. This is our discussion, but I have not used their real name. Joe wrote:
I’ve talked with you in the past. The other day, my 3 year old son and I were talking about Easter and how Jesus died on the cross. He asked “why did Jesus die?” Even though I don’t believe this, I said “He died for our sins”. He answered, “that’s not fair”, which I thought was cute.
In the past, I just said that “Jesus died for us”. I think that leaves it open so others can develop their own beliefs. I’ve read your post regarding Atonement theory and the Ransom theory, which I don’t believe those theories either.
I haven’t quite understood the Christus Victor Theory. But what do I say when my son asks “why did Jesus die on the cross?” I want him to know the love of God, and the example of that love through Jesus, but I don’t want to put on him my lack of belief/understanding of Christ death and lead him astray.
My Response to the Questions
Hi, Joe, I am glad to hear from you again, and I found our discussion together on the resurrection from last year to refresh my memory.
I think your concerns about explaining Jesus’ death on the cross to your toddler are very important; the very idea of Jesus dying on a cross can be traumatic for a three-year-old. Actually, I think it is amazing that a three-year-old would even ask such a question; and his response, “that’s not fair” is remarkable! Perhaps I am out of touch with toddlers’ levels of development but this entire discussion seems quite advanced to me.
I agree with you that “He died for our sins” is probably not the best answer because it sets the stage for a possible transition into penal substitution later on. But it is not in itself a ‘wrong’ answer; the problem with penal substitution is that it is a very misguided misunderstanding of that answer. And I think “Jesus died for us” is a better answer, but it can also be a set-up for accepting penal substitution. However, I wouldn’t worry about either answer, as you have plenty of times to talk with him further about the issue as it comes up over the coming years.
You mention the Christus Victor understanding of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Essentially, this simply means that Jesus’ resurrection was a victory over the power of sin (evil) and of death. Jesus’ resurrection destroys the power of evil in our lives (such as that of the Romans who crucified him); evil is no longer dominant. Jesus’ resurrection also demonstrates his ability to provide for our own resurrections at some point after death. So death is no longer final and it loses its terrible fear and control over us.
How to Answer a Three-Year-Old regarding Jesus’ Crucifixion
Of course, I cannot advise you on how to talk to your son, but I can share how I might talk to my son had I the opportunity to do so again. I am sure the first time it came up many years ago I probably told him that ‘Jesus died for our sins’–just as you did. But I think I would take a different approach today. I wouldn’t elaborate on the terrible things that happened to Jesus—those discussions can come later (I think you did well with your brief response!).
I think I would just address his specific question of “why did Jesus die on the cross?”–perhaps along these lines:
Jesus was killed by the rulers because he taught people much differently than they did, and many people were beginning to listen to Jesus instead of them. So they killed him.
However, the most surprising thing happened. A few days later Jesus was alive again! They killed him, but he came back to life even better than he was before. So the rulers failed; they killed Jesus to get rid of him but he came back again to live forever.
And, if my son were ready, I might add:
There is another wonderful thing about Jesus coming back to life: because Jesus overcame death we know that we will also overcome death some day and live forever like Jesus does. So death is not nearly so scary as it used to be.
I don’t know if this is helpful at all; it might be a bit much for such a young child. In any case, this is not a recommendation but only what I might do if I had another chance.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Readers, what are your thoughts? How do you think one might explain to a young child why Jesus died on the cross?
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Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
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To me, this is a simple and accurate explanation for Jesus’ death by execution. I personally believe God overcame the sin the religious and Roman authorities committed. I really don’t need the penal substitution or atonement ideas today. Perhaps in the days following Jesus it made sense to the hearers, but I don’t believe it makes much sense to me today.
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A Jordon, I agree with you. But I don’t think any of Jesus’ early followers believed in what has come to be called penal substitution. It was mostly the invention of John Calvin almost 1500 years later.
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I was a devout Christian for 35 years, and all I can say is Jesus’ death didn’t destroy the power of evil in my life. I have a niggling habit of being a selfish jerk
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Hoju, I still have faults I have to work with as well. But I know evil is not ultimately powerful and successful, and neither is death.
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Jesus paid for your sins and it is your choice to sin or not to sin, but even here the Holy Spirit helps us to make the right choice. so each time we sin we ask God to forgive us and this is a prayer that gets answered straightaway. We have Jesus alive in heaven in the heavenly sanctuary interceding for us all the time. Each time we pray for forgiveness He presents His shed blood to God the Father and pleads for us. So when God the Father looks at us to judge us He sees the righteousness of Jesus covering us, it is as if we have never sinned, isn’t that beautiful?
You are so sincere to say that you still do wrong things which all people do but this is just the thing and we must depend on God all the time and stay connected with Him.
When Jesus was on Earth ( man and God ) as a man He used to spend a lot of time praying to God the Father for help not to sin and to bear sufferings and this we can do also.
God bless in your spiritual juorney
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Monique, God bless you on your journey as well.
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In the Presbyterian Church USA, we have a confession called the Brief Statement of Faith which states that Jesus was condemned for blasphemy and sedition. I find that helpful when explaining the crucifixion.
It was against Jewish law, punishable by death, to say that you were God. Jesus was God and told the truth and said he was God, and so he was crucified for blasphemy. The people also wanted Jesus to be their prophesied Messiah and to overthrow the Roman government. So the Romans crucified him for sedition. Even though Jesus told the truth, even though Jesus just acted with love toward everyone, people just like you and me killed him because they chose their love of their own rules and their love of their own power over God’s love. And Jesus, because he loved them, let them kill him in order to show us all how terribly bad humans can be toward each other. Jesus came to teach us how to love God, others and ourselves; and instead of following him and learning from him, we killed the teacher because we would rather listen to ourselves.
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Dear Rev. Fitz La Barge, I gather that, as well as the Rpmans, the Southern Judean Jews – practitioners of blood-sacrifice, with which neither Jesus nor God approved – played a large part towards the killing of Jesus?
He confronted them severely – in the Temple – that they were following the god of death, not the One of Love and compassion – and he rejected their wish that He “unite” the Jews as one nation by joining their cult of animal(blood)sacrifice. They had apparently fought for 300 years trying to force that route to “unity” upon the Northern Jews, (i. e. according to the ten years of historical research by author Antonio Sebastian, recorded, e.g., in his historical fiction book, “The Last Letters of Jesus” (Amazon etc) (Blog, thejesusofhistory.com) It all adds up, do you think?
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Karen, I think this is a very accurate and concise way to sum it up. “Jesus was condemned for blasphemy and sedition.” That is exactly what it was.
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I am honored to teach 5-10 year olds at Faith Presbyterian,Austin,Texas.We are one of the few More Light Presbyterian Churches perhaps in the state.I answer questions during Lent and Easter as asked.I keep telling the life cycle story of butterflies-we made seed balls Easter Sunday.I explain life is beautiful-and very hard-Jesus life was an example of how to make it easier.I do not go into the nailing of the cross-unless asked -then I say-that is what was done then to people who were different from the rulers of a country-it does not happen now.I hope to God it never does.I believe all Faiths are God’s people-why would a loving God ” make ” us -and not love us.I would love other explanations-ideas.I am a firm believer in the Beauty of Science and God-and have been for a very long time.Also-God may possibly be a she.
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Hi, Kathleen, My feeling is…..not a He, nor a She…but Pure SPIRIT!??
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Or pure mystery.
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Kathleen, I like your delicate approach!
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Also-I converse with their parents!
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Kierkegaard was on top of this issue back in the 19th Century. Nothing more profound about it has, in my opinion, been written since. Here’s a summation I pulled off the web:
“In his book Training in Christianity, Soren Kierkegaard tells a story of a father introducing the person of Christ to his son. In the story, the father places a picture of the crucified Christ in the middle of a pile of pictures depicting childhood heroes. After flipping through the pictures of heroes such as Napoleon and William Tell, they fall upon the picture of the bloodied Christ. Although told from a third person perspective, it is generally accepted that the Father is Kierkegaard’s own father and the young boy is Kierkegaard. The following is Kierkegaard’s retelling of the event:
The child will not at once nor quite directly understand this picture, and will ask what it means, why he hangs like that on a tree. So you explain to the child that this is a cross, and that to hang on it means to be crucified, and that in that land, crucifixion was not only the most painful death penalty but was also an ignominious mode of execution employed only for the grossest malefactors. What impression will that make upon the child? The child will be in a strange state of mind, he will surely wonder that it could occur to you to put such an ugly picture among all the other lovely ones, the picture of a gross malefactor among all these heroes and glorious figures.
And then the child will ask: “Who is he? What did he do?”
Then tell the child that this crucified man is the Savior of the world. Yet to this he will not be able to attach any clear conceptions; so tell him merely that this crucified man was the most loving person that ever lived.
And what will the impression of this story be upon the child? First and foremost surely this, that he has entirely forgotten the other pictures you have showed him; for now he has got something entirely different to think about. And now the child will be in deepest amazement at the fact that God did nothing to prevent this from being done; or that this was done without God raining down fire from heaven (if not earlier, at least at the last minute) to prevent His death. . . . That was the first impression. But by degrees, the more the child reflected upon the story, the more his passion would be aroused, he would be able to think of nothing but weapons and war—for the child would have decided that when he grew up he would slay all these ungodly men who had dealt thus with the loving One; that was his resolve, forgetting that it was 1,800 years ago that they lived.
Then when the child became a youth he would not have forgotten the impression of childhood, but he would now understand it differently, he would know that it was not possible to carry out what the child —overlooking the 1,800 years—had resolved to do; but nevertheless he would think with the same passion of combating the world in which they crucify love and beg acquittal for the robber.
Then when he become older and mature he would not have forgotten the impression of childhood, but he would understand it differently. He would no longer wish to smite; for, said he, “I should attain to no likeness with Him the humble One, who did not smite even when He Himself was smitten.” No, he wished now only one thing, to suffer in some measure as He suffered in this world.”
For Kierkegaard, Jesus died not so much FOR sin but BECAUSE of it. His crucifixion was a judgment upon the world, revealing that it preferred darkness to light, deception to truth, power to principle, mammon to God. By casting the crucifixion as payment for personal sins, institutional Christianity undermined the magnificent parable of the prodigal son, whom a loving father (representing God) forgave unconditionally. This misinterpretation also allowed the institutional church to evade the social implications of Jesus’ life and teaching–that the Kingdom come on earth in corporate form, not merely in individual human hearts.
Today, more than ever, this misinterpretation perpetuates a trivial ticket-punching Christianity that makes little or no challenge to the evils of American Empire, the even more powerful and sinister successor to Rome. Indeed, the prophetic edge was already being lost when Paul wrote his letter to the Romans, advising a deference to and adulation of governmental authority that could never have come from the mouth of Jesus. If and when the church starts preaching the revolutionary words and acts of Jesus, the world again will be rocked to its foundation, and there won’t be enough pews to hold the oppressed people thirsting for his Truth.
May I live, by the grace of God, to see the day.
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Wow, Newton, this is a wonderful story! And I have never heard it before.
Though the crucifixion of Jesus can be very traumatic for children, it appears to have made it’s mark on the life of this person. I particularly like the line, ” Jesus died not so much FOR sin but BECAUSE of it.” I believe this to be true.
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Brilliant
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Tim, I think I would say that Jesus revolutionary teachings about God’s love and forgiveness became a threat to the religious authorities (the Pharisees) and the Romans’ feared that he would lead an insurrection. So the Pharisees handed him over to the Roman’s who humiliated him and crucified him. Over the cross they fixed a sign which said “King of the Jews”. Thus making an example of him which would keep the Jews in order.
I realize that this is an anti-establishment message which may be confusing for a child who is taught to obey his elders. But there you have it.
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Michael, I agree with you on both counts–a threat both to the Pharisees and to the Romans. Solution: execute him. Problem: he came back!
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This is is most confusing statement of Christianity!
Was he sacrificed? to please whom?
Because, if you tell me that he was sacrificed to GTF for our sins? Then it breaks the belief in TRINITY!
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Hi,
I have been teaching 5th grade CCD for over 25 years. My belief of why Jesus did what he did, suffer beyond belief and then be crucified is based upon Jesus’ comment of “My God, my God why has thou forsaken me.” Also in Jesus’ asking the his Father to let this cup of suffering pass him by but immediately proclaiming that his Father’s will would be done. In these two proclamations I find that Jesus’ actions had to be without reward of any kind at all. After all if the reward is great enough the request will be attempted. Also that Jesus knew in general that the folks really did not like him thus his request for the cup to pass him by if possible. But the real reason Jesus put himself through that torture and death was he loved his Father so much that he could not disappoint him. The pain of not obeying his Dad was much greater than the pain and suffering he was to face. Love is the answer to this riddle. Not Jesus’ love for us so much as was his love for this Dad. Even to this day any child with true love his parents would not want to make them ashamed of himself or herself. On the flip side of that I explain that to really understand how to be a real follower of Christ is to be willing to stand in another’s place an accept death to save the other. The ultimate sacrifice. When one has reached this stage then truly one is a real follower of Christ. I know as a father and as a grandpa I would willingly accept any kind of suffering and death for my kids and grandkids in their place. I only hope and pray that this may blossom into a point where I would do this for anybody. I am working on that and I may never get to that point but I am trying. I have learned, in my Catholic college years, that the definition of God’s love is to do what is right for the other and not for oneself. Is this not what Jesus did when he obeyed his Dad and was crucified and died on the cross? So in my understanding at least I find that Jesus’ love for the Father overcame his desire to avoid is Dad’s request and go his own way. Not so much for us but to make Dad proud of his son who obeyed Him even unto death on a cross. Love is the key. Unselfish, uncompromising, uncorrupted pure love. Can we as humans ever attain this state? Look at the world today and one can easily see the dark ages staging a come back, but always remember God has told us the ending folks, God’s people win.
Yours In Christ,
Rev J
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John, you make an interesting point. I think Jesus knew the ordeal would be very painful. I wonder, though, if there is room for a broader motivation for Jesus’ resolve in that he was true to God’s plan but also to the impact that his death and resurrection would have on us.
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Two years later, I’m trying to find ideas for an Easter lesson for our progressive church’s kids. This post is incredibly helpful. Thank you all! (and I am now following…) 🙂
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Kristine, I am so glad that this article was helpful! And thanks for following; I hope you continue to like the blog.
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Reblogged this on Jesus Without Baggage and commented:
Recently, there has been a tremendous upsurge in views of this article from 2017. Since Easter is coming up, I have decided to reblog it here.
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I love your brief explanation for Joe’s son. Absolutely brilliant. And you put in three short paragraphs what it would have taken me an entire essay to write 😉
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Thanks, Tony.
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Tim, I found it quite shocking that someone opened himself to this question from a 3 year old. How did this happen? Isn’t a 3 year old far too young to be exposed to the idea of someone being killed at all? (unless it had just happened to someone near to him or the family, when it might need to be explained to the child why that person was no longer around).
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Chas, I am not sure. But I think it was the child who initiated the conversation.
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Tim, I don’t see how a child could come up with that, unless someone else had started the subject.
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Chas, you could be right about that.
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This is quite prescient for me today…I was involved yesterday in showing a presentation to a primary school from an organisation called Counties in the UK who run something called Key To Life – a spectacular video presentation on Christianity. I was very worried when I saw the graphic content of the crucifixion but had little chance to do anything about it. The video story when through the arrest, trial, crucifixion, and death before finishing on the resurrection. We went through the story with 6 classes from 7’s to 11’s and I have to say it was really well received. There were some tears and children hiding behind teachers during the difficult bits (like I did as a kid during Doctor Who) but the key was that the resurrection was shown to be so joyful. So I think the key is to ensure that the whole story is known. Still not my way of sharing the gospel but that’s what it was.
The funniest bit was when the video said.. “Jesus was betrayed by a kiss!” Lots of cries of ‘Yuck!’ – not so much for the idea of betraying but by the thought of a kiss. 😉
Blessings
Ian
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Ian, it sounds as though you had a well made video; and I really like the response to the kiss part. Kids are different but they have to learn the story sometime. Perhaps this was a good vehicle for it.
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Tim, I believe that Jesus became a threat to the Pharisees by saying that he was the Son of God and to the Romans because people were calling him King of the Jews or the Messiah which was understood as a political and military leader who would liberate them from the Romans. Hence the sign over the cross. But I also believe that he was resurrected on the Sunday and now lives in the Love of God in Heaven. He is available to us through prayer. And he is close to the heart of God.
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Tim, it’s been awhile since I’ve read anything on this blog. I like this subject and find myself pondering it more and more on my journey of casting off such baggage as the following: God the father is angry as heck at all of us who have sinned and is ready to appease his anger by damning us all to hell fire where we will experience the pain of our flesh burning for eternity. The so called good news is that there is one other way for father God’s burning anger against us to be appeased. That way is to present to this angry God the blood of a perfect, sinless human sacrifice. In comes Jesus, God’s son becomes a human with flesh and blood with no sin to be the sacrifice to appease his Father’s anger. This being done on the cross when Jesus gave himself to be crucified leaves us with the choice to believe it or not. Some say if we believe it, we will be spared the eternal suffering of hell fire and get to live with Jesus and his angry father forever. Others add a bit of baggage or rules we need to keep as well as believing in order to be spared from the wrath of God. Some more baggage that I am getting rid of is the idea that very few of all the people whoever lived on this earth from the beginning of time will be spared from the flames of eternal damnation. Here endeth my baggage description.
I’ll tell you that many scripture verses from the Bible came to my mind as I wrote the above. They are the verses I used to use when I went from house to house teaching this so called “truth.”
At this present time in my journey I endeavor to not use proof texts to either support what I do believe or put down what I don’t believe. Just as you described the question as to whether God is a he or she as a mystery, I believe the purpose for the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus and what it accomplished is full of mystery as well. The truth for me is that God is love and desires to be in a loving relationship with all people from all of time. The crucifixion of Jesus was a necessary part of God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) entering into that relationship with us in the midst of our messy, sinful lives. So, much more could be said but I’ll end with that thought for now. Thanks again Tim for this JWB blog.
One other thing. I, like you Tim, would definitely speak to my children differently about why Jesus was crucified or had to be crucified and what it actually accomplished if I could do so over again. In that conversation, depending on their age, I would have to admit to my having a lot of questions. For a 3 year old, expecting that a parent would have opportunity to expound on the subject at a later time, saying he died for us seems sufficient.
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